(translated in 2020)

After spending the weekend in Busan, I took the KTX back to Seoul. Sitting by the window, I listened to SUGA’s “Agust D D-2” and RM’s “mono” mixtapes on repeat, often gazing out the window as the bullet train sped past tunnels, rural houses, rice paddies, green mountains, and lakes. I was once again struck by the sincerity, eloquence, and humanity woven throughout their music. 

These mixtapes—created not for financial gains (after all, they’re offered freely to the public) but for the sake of art—provide a window into how these two artists view life. Through their raw and honest self-assessments, they bare their souls, sharing how difficult and incomplete life can feel, even amid all their success. In doing so, they remind us of the universal struggles that bind us as human beings. 

“Interlude: Set Me Free,” the ninth track in “Agust D D-2,” does not stray from the mixtape’s core theme: SUGA’s gnawing feeling of emptiness despite public acclaim. Here, he explores the ups and downs of his life, the waves of depression that settle over him without any warning, making him long for liberation from life’s burdens.

The song starts with a chorus in which SUGA employs two ambiguous dependent clauses that hint at his current state of mind. The first, “내 마음대로 안 될 걸 다 알면서” (내 (nae) (my)/ 마음대로 (mah-eum-dae-loh) (as one pleases, likes)/ 안 될 걸 (ahn dwehl guhl) (won’t happen)/ 다 dah (all (here it is used to mean “full))/ 알면서 (ahl-myun-suh) (although already know, aware)). He gives you a subordinate clause that says, “Although already know (it) won’t happen the way I want” without providing the main clause to complete the sentence. It’s as if the onus is on the listener to fill in the rest. But we can confidently surmise his meaning, because Koreans often use this phrase to lament, “Why get depressed or worry when you know well that life never goes the way you want?”

The second, “그게 내 맘이 아니란 걸 알면서” (그게 (geu-geh) (that)/ 내 (nae) (my)/ 맘이 mahm-yi (heart, mind, feeling)/ 아니란 걸 (ah-nih-lahn guhl) (not)/ 알면서 (ahl-myun-suh) (although already know, aware)). Here, this subordinate clause literally means “although already know that is not what I meant.” Koreans use this phrase—“내 맘이 아니었어 (nae mahm-yi ah-nih-uht-suh)”—to express regret or apology, like saying “I didn’t mean that.” in English. Thus, here, SUGA is expressing remorse for something he had said or done.

In the song’s lone verse (it is a brief track, after all), he confides that he sometimes finds himself depressed for no apparent reason. At one moment, he’s “자유롭게 (jah-yoo-lohp-geh) (freely) 허공에 (huh-gong-eh) (air, space) 떠있네 (dduh-iht-neh) (float, hover),” but then the next, he’s “꿀꿀해 (ggool-ggool-hae) (feeling blue, dispirited, dejected).”

One day, he’s so depressed that he’s “바닥에서 (bah-dahk-eh-suh) (on the floor) 기고 (gih-goh) (crawling),” and the next, he’s “창공에서 (chahng-gong-eh-suh) (in the clear blue sky) 나네 (nah-neh) (flying). When he asks “왜(wae)? (why?)” in the following lines, you cannot help but feel his sadness. The emotional swings leave him yearning to be set free, to escape life’s weight. I have said this before, but what other superstar artist would share such personal vulnerability with their listeners?

Finally, the song’s addictive melodies and its dreamy mood, heightened by SUGA’s pensive voice, evoke the feeling of reading a Murakami novel. As I stepped off the train at Seoul Station, I found myself humming “set me free,” just as the rain began to fall softly.

Lyrics:

Chorus:

Set me free

I know life never goes the way I want 

Set me free

I know I didn’t mean that

Verse:

Set me free

I’m just drifting, carefree in the air

Set me free

I’ve been feeling low lately

Some days, I’m too weighed down to get up

Other times, I’m soring in the blue sky

Why?

Why?

Chorus:

Set me free

I know life never goes the way I want

Set me free

I know I didn’t mean that

Outro:

Set me free

Set me free

Set me free

Set me free

Set me free