Moonlight (Korean title: 저 달 (juh dahl) (That Moon))
“Moonlight,” the opening track on SUGA’s magnificent “Agust D D-2” mixtape, finds him in a reflective mood, questioning everything from his past and present to his artistic motivation, self-worth, and his ambivalence toward fame.
(translated in 2020)
When it comes to BTS, I can’t claim to be a disinterested observer. I love BTS and their work: their philosophy of life and humanity; their commitment to making the world better through music; their messages of encouragement to love yourself and speak your truth, no matter who you are; their enduring appreciation for ARMY, whose support remains the driving force behind their relentless effort even after sitting atop the pop world since 2017.
Most of all, I’m especially fond of SUGA’s willingness to share his deeply personal journey—the hurdles he’s overcome, including mental health struggles, stage fright, and an enduring sense of inadequacy—to become the artist he is today, especially as revealed in his two mixtapes.
SUGA still isn’t fully out of his shell, and continues to grapple with complicated feelings about his talent and fame. He often admits he has no close friends, unlike the other members, spending most of his time either at the studio or unwinding at home. While he projects indifference to others’ opinions of his music, beneath the blank expressions and air of nonchalance, he craves recognition and validation for his efforts. He genuinely appreciates that people are willing to listen to his life’s stories.
Bang PD once remarked that SUGA looked noticeably happier after releasing his first mixtape. Now, we all saw how content he seemed right before and after “D-2” came out: posting a flurry of cheerful photos, giving an extended interview about the album, and hosting a V Live session with ARMY, clearly satisfied with the process of making this personal record for his fans. Through his mixtapes, he was able to vent some of the anger burning inside and begin to unravel the tangle of negative impulses, emotions, and memories. That’s why he appeared more relaxed and high-spirited.
“Moonlight,” the opening track on SUGA’s magnificent “Agust D D-2” mixtape, finds him in a reflective mood, questioning everything from his past and present to his artistic motivation, self-worth, and his ambivalence toward fame.
In the intro, he casually tosses off, “shoot, I can’t even decide on the number of tracks (for the mixtape), so shit, I’m just gonna wing it (with what I’ve got).” Of course, he knows exactly how many tracks he wants on the album. This offhand humor is a strategy: SUGA, always a little suspicious of his own talent, tries to temper ARMY’s huge expectations by pretending he hasn’t planned things out. Naturally, it’s a bluff; he spent countless hours writing lyrics, composing melodies, recording with his piano and synthesizer, and producing the tracks with friends, caring deeply about the album’s quality. Even so, we glimpse his insecurity right from the start.
Early in the first verse, SUGA admits that fame and wealth haven’t allowed him to enjoy the fruits of his labor, because he’s caught in the hopeless pursuit of “이상 (yi-sang),” meaning “perfection.” While this word can also mean “idealism,” here it’s best read as “perfection.” Yet, even as he chases perfection, he confesses it’s out of reach, stymied by lingering anger and the paralyzing restlessness that persists within him.
I’ve written before that SUGA sometimes conceals his true emotions behind ambiguous phrasing. For instance, in the line “내 안의 게으름과의 싸움 (nae ahn-eui geh-eu-leum-gwa-eui ssa-oom)” ((my) (inside) (with laziness) (fight)), he names ‘laziness’ as an obstacle to perfection. But we all know he’s not lazy—he likely works more hours than anyone else in the group, especially given his producing work. Here, ‘laziness’ isn’t a lack of effort, but a paralysis brought on by restlessness, making it hard for him to summon the energy to create.
He returns to this device later in the verse, with the line “난 아직 고파 (nahn ah-jik go-pah)” ((I’m) (still) (hungry, famished)). He doesn’t mean a hunger for more money or fame, but rather, that even at the top, something is missing. He “can’t shake off this feeling of hollowness.” It’s as if, after a meal, he’s still hungry; something remains unsatisfied.
The second verse is full of contradictions SUGA recognizes in himself. One moment, he sees himself as a genius; the next, a talentless impostor. Sometimes, he can write a song in an instant; other times, nothing comes. He even confesses the first verse of this song flowed easily, but he hit writer’s block in the second.
He goes on to ponder life’s unpredictability and the burden of fame (using the metaphor “내게 붙이는 수식어들 (nae-ge boot-(ch)i-neun su-sik-uh-deul) (the adjectives attached to my name)” to describe it). My favorite line comes here: “어쩌겠어 받은 건 갚아야지 (uh-jjuh-get-uh baht-eun guhn gahb-ah-ya-ji)” ((What else can I do?) (what I’ve received) (I must repay)). Though sometimes unsatisfied with life and weighed down by fame, he acknowledges his debt to ARMY, so he presses on. He has to repay the love given to him by ARMY. He closes the verse with a powerful metaphor: life’s pressures are a wall he must crash through, so he floors the accelerator, determined to break through, showing his resolve to keep making music for ARMY.
Lyrics:
Intro:
Three years have passed
Agust D.
Shoot, can’t even decide on the number of tracks
Shit, I’ll just wing it.
Verse 1:
My journey started in a shabby basement in Namsandong, Daegu,
Now I’m at ‘The Hill’ penthouse in Hannam.
It still feels unreal—like Peter Pan in a dream.
It’s hard to enjoy since I’m chasing perfection.
Unquenched anger still lives in me,
Paralyzing restlessness is my true enemy.
Sometimes I blame God for my troubles,
I question my work and my love for music—
Should I just give this up?
Maybe I’m being dramatic.
Even if it sometimes look easy,
I worked my ass off for all I have.
I made it to the top, but something’s missing.
This hollow feeling won’t leave me.
Ten-plus years since Namsandong,
Still searching for what I want.
Fuck…
Chorus:
That moon I see in the early hours
Still shines as it did then.
So much has changed in my life,
But at least the moonlight remains the same.
That moon I see in the early hours
Still shines as it did then.
We all change, like it’s necessary;
How we change is up to us.
Verse 2:
One moment I’m a genius,
The next I feel like a fraud.
Some days I write a song in a heartbeat,
Others, nothing comes.
Even for this track, the first verse flew out—
But this second verse, I’m stuck.
You win everything, or you get nothing.
Life’s never balanced; you just weigh your choices.
Every living thing dies;
Honestly, I’d hesitate to live forever.
I started this path for my love of music,
Now fame weighs me down at times.
What choice do I have but to keep going?
What choice but to hold onto what I’ve earned?
What choice but to pay back my debts?
When life gets overwhelming,
You just grit your teeth harder.
Chorus:
That moon I see in the early hours
Still shines as it did then.
So much has changed in my life,
But at least the moonlight remains the same.
That moon I see in the early hours
Still shines as it did then.
We all change, like it’s necessary;
How we change is up to us.